Lazy Days of Summer

There's something about the hot and muggy days of summer that make me feel like being a slug. I've been lazy this summer, and I'm not talking about exercise. No, I've been lazy about paying attention to what I eat. All summer long, my attitude has been that if I want it, I eat it. Doesn't matter if it has more calories and saturated fat than is recommended for an entire day. If it sounds good to me, I'll eat it. Without guilt. And sometimes without really being hungry. It's often mindless eating. Now, my body is showing the effects: I've gained probably 20 pounds in the past 6 months. My clothes don't quite fit. I know I need to do something, because this is not where I want to be.

The problem is, I can't figure out what to me seems like the Holy Grail of food and fitness: moderation. No matter what I try, I'm either on a diet or off. There's no in-between, no middle ground. My weight shows it - there's no stability or consistency. I bounce up and down, never staying at one number for very long. I know it's not a good long term plan, but I can't figure out how to do it right. I can't get my head around a way to have it all: to eat the things I want (some of the time, in small or at least reasonable portions) along with the things that are "good for me." I know I need to do it, to find a long term plan. If I'm honest, one that will last the rest of my life. I have to be able to see this as a lifestyle change. Make good choices most of the time, and know that from time to time I won't. I understand that from a logical perspective, but emotionally it's a different story. And so far, I don't have the answers. What to do, then? I know I want to lose the weight I've gained, but I also don't think I can stomach (pun intended) going on another diet. I'm pondering a different approach: eating in a way I can sustain over the long haul; not deprivation, but satisfaction, in small doses, some of the time. Can I really do it? I don't know. But I think I have to try.