Back in the Saddle... Again?

Well, I got some not-so-great news from the doctor on Friday: my cholesterol is back up, way up, close to what it was 3 years ago when I decided to get healthy, lose weight, and start walking. All this despite having lost 90 pounds (and kept most of it off for 2 years) and working my way up to walking 20-25 miles per week.

The moral of the story? Diet matters. I admit it; I've been bad about my diet. I convinced myself that I could eat semi-healthy: low fat and low cholesterol some of the time; high fat stuff a lot of the time, and not just during the holidays. Not exactly practicing what I've been preaching. It's frustrating, because I feel like I worked awfully hard, and I don't have a lot to show for it. Sure, I've lost a bunch of weight, but to see the cholesterol numbers almost back to what they were in the beginning feels like a slap in the face.

So what to do? I don't know if I can go back to the life of deprivation I used to lead. But at the same time, I can't keep doing what I'm doing if I want to get - and stay - healthy. Moderation has never really worked for me (despite the fact that I tell everyone else to do it). I'm sort of an either/or kind of a person: either I'm totally disciplined and healthy in my eating, or I'm off the charts with high fat junk. I can't seem to eat just a little bit of the bad stuff once in a while but keep on track with a healthy diet the rest of the time.

It's the reality I don't want to face: I have to go back to the low fat, low cholesterol diet, and sooner rather than later. This time, though, I have to commit for the long haul, and look at this as a lifestyle change and not a temporary thing I have to endure. Somehow, I have to find a way to make this work for the rest of my life, and I'm not sure that I know yet how to do that. Meanwhile, I'll do my best to plug along, one day and sometimes one hour at a time, trying to make changes I've made before, only this time doing it for keeps. So come January, I'll be among the hordes promising to eat better and be healthy. Only for me, I'll know that it has to last more than a few days or weeks. I have to do this for real, for a lifetime, and most of all, for me.

Wish me luck!

Peggy